As you all have read earlier, I've been endeavoring to make a silk purse out the minimum wage sow's ear called "extra" work by looking at the positives and taking creative moments where I found them. All the while getting food poisoned (you haven't lived till you've vomited 6 times in a port-o-john), serious sunstroke (14 hours outside in Santa Clarita in July), freezing in the winter (cause it's supposed to be summer), burning in the summer (wearing full winter gear outside in August), numerous blisters from shoes that aren't meant for lots of walking (thanks costumer!)... getting the picture?
All of these negatives came into crystal clear focus the day I had to work on an upcoming tv show called Franklin and Bash, downtown a few weeks ago, on a freezing, windy, rainy day.
This was not the first time I was cast as a hooker/skank/bar whore/swinger (such a class act!), BUT this was the first time that it made absolutely no sense. In a group of appx 100, most were dressed in "legal" wear or police uniforms,while myself and one other lucky gal got to be dressed to thrill. Since it was supposed to be summer, no outer wear was allowed, so I was given a corset top that was cut down to my bellybutton, a skirt that barely covered my tush and a 5-inch pair of hooker heels. At my insistence, I got a low-cut tank to go under the corset and tights so that my ass wasn't out in the wind. Somehow the other chick was given a leather jacket. Oh yeah, I grumble, cause this same girl found a way to disappear and not have to work... all day. So in a group of people dressed normal, you have one person, ME dressed as a major whore, getting attention I do not want (thanks creepy guys!), AND FREEZING in the rain cause we weren't allowed our coats. Then the one shot I got placed in, I got pulled and sent to the far back for the rest of the day (something very frustrating that happens almost every time - what can I say... I have charisma!).
Since Hollywood hookers don't have pockets I got to keep my iphone here all day... yep.
If only it had a heater app.
Notice how everyone else has long sleeves? And the crew in coats!
Good Luck passing this off as summer.
See if you can spot the stars in this picture.
These earrings were the width of my foot.
Ladies, if you have earrings like this, Hollywood thinks you're a whore...
Downtown politics is dirty smoky business.
In addition to the above, I didn't eat breakfast due to the long costume line, and got to enjoy what cleaning a port-a-john smells like up close, so by the end of that 13-hour day,
I was feeling the utter humiliation of being a prop, totally at the whim of every
person above me on the production totem pole.
So when I got booked on a large, outside call in the middle of nowhere at 6am the next morning, I told them to SHOVE IT. Life's too short to feel that miserable for minimum wage on something that does nothing to advance my acting or writing goals.
So THANK YOU Franklin and Bash for being that one straw too many! I'm happier already.
Now would be a great time for a visionary producer to pick up my pilot script...
hint hint Universe.
Until next time... Miss Absinthe